


time moves slow (when half of your heart has yet to come home)

by Crimsoncat



Series: Kinktober 2017 [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, Kinktober 2017, Long-Distance Relationship, Masturbation, OTP Feels, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-19 06:56:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12405324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crimsoncat/pseuds/Crimsoncat
Summary: Sometimes keeping the world safe means they don't see one another for months at a time.





	time moves slow (when half of your heart has yet to come home)

Kinktober 2017

Day 08. Masturbation (substitution)

* * *

 

 

Natasha loves her job. She loves working to make the world a safer place, and she loves being able to go to bed each night knowing that she has made a measurable difference. It is nice knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that her actions matter; that she did more good than harm. There are billions of people still breathing because of the things she and the people she works with do, and it’s an incredible feeling. As crazy as her life may make her sometimes, it’s almost always worth it.

 

Natasha also loves her girlfriend. She loves waking up each morning knowing that Maria is hers and she is Maria’s. That she has someone she can depend on and trust with all that she is. Natasha never thought she would be this lucky. She had long ago made peace with the fact that she would never find someone to share her life with. Because it’s hard to build a life with someone when you can’t be honest with them about who and what you really are. (Natasha’s relationship with Maria feels like a god damned miracle most days, and she often has the urge to fall to her knees and thank every deity she can name for this incredible gift.)

 

Natasha loves her job and she loves her girlfriend and, most of the time, she loves her life. What Natasha _doesn’t_ love is moments like this. Moments when her job keeps her separated from her girlfriend. It’s been almost four months since Natasha and Maria have been in the same place for more than a day. It has been one thing after another lately, and the two of them have been going non stop trying to keep the world safe. It has been exhausting and it has been frustrating and Natasha just wants to go home.

 

(It’s a strange feeling, being homesick. It’s not something Natasha has ever experienced before, and it’s not a feeling that she likes. It makes her sad and cranky and she hates it.

 

Clint is the one who put a name to it for her. Natasha spent almost twenty minutes venting to him one night, and by the time she was done Clint had a strange look on his face. He was watching Natasha with a contemplative expression that she didn’t particularly appreciate.

 

“You’re homesick,” Clint explained.

 

“Yeah, I desperately miss my quarters on the helicarrier.” Natasha rolled her eyes.

 

“Home isn’t always a place, Tasha. You and I both know the helicarrier isn’t what you think of when I say home.”

 

Natasha blinked as she realized he was right. Home wasn’t that tiny little room where she slept. Home was Maria’s smile first thing in the morning, when she was sleepy and soft and adorable. Home was the way those gorgeous sapphire eyes sparkled in the sunlight, and that soft gasp Maria always makes right before she comes. Home is the feeling Natasha gets when she’s curled up in Maria’s arms, listening to the steady beat of her heart as they fall asleep.

 

Natasha has never had a home before; not really. She has never known anything like the peace she feels in Maria’s presence. And Natasha wonders if that’s how you know you’re meant to be with someone forever.)

 

Eighteen days from now Natasha and Maria will have an entire week together. They’ll be working, of course, but they’ll be working _together_. They just need to get through the next eighteen days. Thankfully, neither of them are on ops that require radio silence. And, even better, neither of them are in the middle of fucking nowhere. They are both in well populated areas with access to strong wifi signals. Which means the next eighteen days might be bearable.

 

The familiar sound of an incoming Skype call fills Natasha’s room right on schedule. She clicks to answer the call, but as a voice connection instead of a video call. Maria’s adorably confused expression as their call loads makes Natasha smile. Maria is sitting up in bed with her laptop in her lap and Natasha spends a few moments just quietly watching her.

 

“Nat?”

 

“I’m here. I just wanted to make sure you were alone.”

 

“For awhile, yeah. Coulson just took over the surveillance and I have four hours before we swap out again.” Maria’s last few words are almost lost in the giant yawn that escapes her and Natasha frowns.

 

“You should be sleeping, Masha, not calling me. You look exhausted.”

 

“I’ll sleep soon, I promise.” Natasha’s view shifts as Maria moves the laptop to rest on the bed beside her so she can lay down next to her computer. “Stop being weird and turn on your camera. I miss your face.”

 

Natasha hums as she turns on her camera. “Alright, but it’s not going to lead to sleep.”

 

“What do you..” Maria trails off as Natasha’s camera loads. “ _Oh_."

 

The stunned expression on Maria’s face makes Natasha smile. “Hi,” she murmurs softly. Like Maria, Natasha is stretched out in bed beside her laptop. But, unlike Maria, the only thing Natasha is wearing is her smile.

 

“Hi,” Maria echoes as her eyes slowly scan Natasha’s body with a hunger that makes Natasha ache. She can almost feel the weight of Maria’s gaze on her skin. “Fuck, Nat.”

 

“I was hoping you might help me with that, yeah,” Natasha agrees easily. Natasha kneads her breast, dragging her thumb across her nipple as she gropes herself. She doesn't miss the way Maria’s breath hitches. Natasha shifts so she’s laying more on her back, and she brings her other hand into play. Natasha groans and squeezes her breast a bit harder as the fingers of her other hand find her clit. “But if you're too tired, if you just want to watch while I–”

 

“Stop.” There is no trace of exhaustion in Maria’s voice now.

 

Natasha freezes. There is no mistaking Maria's command for anything other than what it is, and Natasha obeys immediately. She waits as patiently as she can for Maria to tell her what she wants.

 

“How long do we have?” Maria asks.

 

“At least an hour. Maybe two.”

 

Maria tilts her head and considers Natasha for a moment. “Then why are you in such a hurry?”

 

“I..” Natasha hesitates, the words sticking in her throat. But Maria simply waits. “I want to come,” Natasha says, and a light flush spreads across her face and her chest as she blushes. Maria continues to wait, aware that such a confession wouldn’t be enough to make her usually stoic girlfriend blush like that, and Natasha exhales.

 

“Tell me,” Maria says softly.

 

“I want to come for _you_ ," Natasha admits.

 

Maria makes a pleased sound. “I want that too, love.”

 

“Well then?” Natasha arches an eyebrow at her. “May I?”

 

Maria nods, and she sits up a little. “ _Please_."

 

Natasha waits a moment longer, because sometimes Maria enjoys directing her pleasure. But no instructions are forthcoming. Maria seems content to simply watch today, and that more than anything else tells Natasha exactly how exhausted she is.

 

Natasha takes a moment to fix her pillows so she can still see Maria when she reclines, and Maria watches intently while Natasha gets comfortable. When Maria is running the show she makes Natasha take her time. There are few things Maria loves as much as the sight of Natasha when she is pushed to the point of nonverbal desperation. When she is writhing and whimpering, unable to manage more than broken syllables and quiet nonsensical sounds. And Natasha enjoys it, too. She enjoys being able to give that part of herself to Maria.

 

(But Maria does not want control today, and Natasha isn’t in the mood to wait for her pleasure.)

 

Natasha scratches her nails down her abdomen and sighs quietly as her fingertips brush against tight curls. She tilts her head to watch Maria watching her as she lightly circles her clit, and as good as it feels it’s the look in Maria’s eyes that makes Natasha moan. “God I miss you,” Natasha says as she presses against her clit more firmly.

 

“I miss you, too, Nat.” Maria’s voice is rough with need and Natasha moans again at the sound of it.

 

Natasha adjusts her hand, moving her index finger lower, and Maria stops her.

 

“Wait,” Maria breathes, and Natasha pauses. “Two fingers.”

 

Maria seems to have changed her mind about being in control, and Natasha trembles as she extends her middle finger too and enters herself slowly. Natasha’s breathing stalls and her head falls back against her pillows. Maria was right; two fingers was the way to go here. And the fact that Maria knows Natasha’s body, knows what she needs, better than Natasha does would drive her up the wall if it didn’t feel so fucking good.

 

“Talk to me, Nat.” The note of command is edging back into Maria’s voice and Natasha spasms around her fingers.

 

“It’s good,” Natasha manages. “It’s so good, Masha.”

 

Maria hums. “Use your thumb on your clit while you fuck yourself.”

 

“Slow or fast?” Natasha glances at her computer screen.

 

“Lady’s choice.”

 

Natasha opts for fast. Fast and _hard_ . She has been thinking about this moment for days and it's ridiculous how turned on she is. Natasha strokes into herself a couple of times before adding her thumb as she was told, and her eyes almost roll back into her head when she does. “Ma _r_ _ia_ ," Natasha gasps as her eyes drift closed.

 

“Are you close love?”

 

Natasha nods.

 

“Tell me,” Maria reminds her, and Natasha groans.

 

“So close. So fucking close, babe.” Natasha moves her fingers a bit quicker, twisting her hand so she can apply more pressure to her clit with each stroke.

 

“Fuck, already?”

 

Natasha rolls her hips, and her quiet gasp as she hits the exact right spot is answer enough.

 

“You are so gorgeous like this,” Maria says softly. She speaks with a reverence that makes Natasha’s head spin.

 

Natasha makes a quiet sound of desperation as her lips part. “Oh. Oh, fuck, Maria..”

 

“Yes,” Maria groans deeply. " _God_ yes.”

 

“I’m..” Natasha inhales sharply and her exhale is a stuttering cry as her hips lift off the bed.

 

Natasha’s hips thrust weakly against her hand as she comes, and she is only vaguely aware of Maria’s voice. Natasha’s head automatically tilts closer to the computer, closer to Maria, and in that moment Natasha misses her so much that it’s physically painful.

 

It takes a few minutes for Natasha to come back to herself. Her eyes blink open slowly and she focuses on her computer screen. The sight of Maria’s hand moving furiously between her legs makes Natasha clench painfully around her own fingers. “Oh, god,” Natasha breathes.

 

Maria laughs breathlessly. “See something you like, Romanoff?” She teases.

 

“Very, _very_ much.” Natasha absently rolls her thumb against her clit, and her hips twitch. “Fucking hell, Maria.” Natasha withdraws her fingers so she can focus more completely on her clit as she watches Maria take care of herself.

 

Maria’s hips jerk as they continue to watch one another. “I love it when you look at me like that,” Maria murmurs.

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like you’re going to devour me.”

 

Natasha’s lips twitch into a predatory smile, and she enjoys the soft whimper Maria makes. “Oh, I absolutely am,” she purrs quietly. “I’m going to spend _hours_ devouring you, Maria. Until you can’t take even one second more.”

 

Maria doesn’t respond, but the speed of her fingers increases.

 

Natasha can feel her second orgasm beginning to build, and her words take on a desperate edge. “When my mouth becomes too much I’m going to use my fingers. I am going to fuck you until you can’t even remember your own name,” Natasha promises.

 

“Nat..” Maria doesn’t miss the change in Natasha’s tone. She shudders violently and struggles to keep her eyes open so she can continue to watch Natasha.

 

“That’s my girl.” Natasha groans, unable to hold back any longer. “My sweet Masha.”

 

“Yours,” Maria agrees easily, and Natasha’s heart stutters in her chest as Maria’s eyes flash. “And you are _mine_ , Natasha. Always.”

 

The sharp, possessive quality of Maria’s words is what does it. Natasha stops breathing as she comes so hard it’s almost painful. Maria’s eyes slam shut as she follows Natasha over the edge with a muted cry. Maria jolts forward, almost sitting up as her orgasm rips through her. She hovers there for a few breathless moments as every part of her body sings with pleasure. Maria loses track of time, loses track of everything but the ragged sound of Natasha trying to catch her breath, and she collapses back against the mattress as the feeling finally begins to fade.

 

“You are so fucking beautiful.”

 

Maria tilts her head towards the laptop. It takes a few seconds for her to force her eyes open and a few seconds more before her eyes focus enough for her to see the way Natasha is looking at her.

 

Natasha is watching Maria with something close to awe. Her eyes sparkle with adoration and longing, and Maria hums quietly as her eyes drift closed again. “The feeling is mutual,” Maria says. She stretches before rolling to face the laptop more completely, and Maria covers her mouth as she yawns.

 

“You should get some sleep,” Natasha tells her gently. “You’re running yourself ragged on this op.”

 

Maria frowns and her eyes blink open at the hint of guilt in Natasha’s words. “Don’t do that. I needed you more than I needed sleep. I’ll be alright, Nat.”

 

“You better be.”

 

“Cross my heart,” Maria promises softly, and Natasha smiles. “Same time tomorrow?” Maria asks hopefully.

 

“Ugh, no, we’re meeting our contact tomorrow. I may be out of touch for a few days.”

 

Despite her best efforts, Maria’s eyes begin to close once more. “I miss you,” she murmurs tiredly.

 

“I miss you too,” Natasha replies. “Go to sleep love, stop fighting it.”

 

Maria mumbles something in response, and though her eyelids flutter they do not open again. Maria’s breathing evens out and she’s asleep within moments. Natasha reaches out and traces her fingertips against her screen, along the curve of Maria’s brow. “I love you, Maria,” Natasha says softly. Maria makes a quiet sound of contentment in her sleep, but she does not wake.

 

Natasha sighs. Days like today, when all she wants is to feel Maria’s weight in her arms, it’s hard to remember that she loves her job. Natasha wraps the sheet around herself as she curls up next to her laptop and settles in to watch Maria sleep.

 

Soon she’ll have to get up and get dressed. Natasha will have to step back into this week’s persona and step outside to do what she can to keep the world from going to shit. Soon; but not yet. For now Natasha can still be just Natasha, a woman in love and homesick for her better half. For now she can simply lay here, listening to the sound of Maria’s quiet snores and watching the way Maria’s fingers twitch as she dreams. For now Natasha can simply keep watch while Maria rests and quietly thank the universe for sending her this amazing woman that she doesn’t deserve.

 

(And that is exactly what she does.)


End file.
